Chapter 5 Hanging Out With Michael

Hanging Out With Michael

        Whenever Michael came to visit his cousins, he would arrive on a Friday during the early or sometimes late pm. Michael usually stayed until that Saturday evening or early Sunday morning. Well, due to my curfew, I’d only get to see him for a short period of time on Fridays. We always greeted each other with a big smile, a pleasant hello, and a very long invited stare. When Michael and I first started hanging out together, we made a pact; our arrangement was based on an oral agreement between us. Each time that he came for a visit, he'd have Jen or Ren come upstairs to the 9^th floor and get me to hang out with them that Saturday before noon. However, the reality of it all was that they’d come get me to hang out with him, lol! Michael’s cousin Jen was usually the one to come get me to hang out.  

        Of course, I agree that was pretty sneaky of us, but after all, we were just kids! Back in the day, it was strange how some people as parents/guardians did not display a significant amount of concern when it came to nurturing/keeping an eye on their children. Well, as a responsible parent/adult today, if I currently had legal guardianship over someone’s child, I would definitely implement several methods for detecting sneakiness, especially when it comes to hanging out. Though I must admit, I had the time of my life hanging out with Michael! Without a doubt, we most definitely hung out together and I enjoyed every moment that we shared thanks to FATHER GOD! Thank you, FATHER, for allowing us to be together! Thank you, FATHER! Thank you!

        Wholeheartedly, for so many reasons, I believe that I was falling in love with Michael. My heart always began to hurt so very relentlessly when it was time for him to go home. The first Saturday that Jen came to get me to hang out was also the first time that I got a chance to see Michael in action as Pig! As Jen and I walked to their front door, she said, "Jeannie, I’m not trying to shock you, or anything like that, but don't be surprised, if we see Michael sitting at the dinner table with a plate full of food, when I opened up this door!" You know what? Being quiet and reserved, I just smiled at her comment. Nevertheless, as we walked through the front door, I almost couldn't believe my eyes! There stood Michael in their kitchen, rubbing his stomach as he looked through the refrigerator for something good to eat! Although I was quite shy, I actually felt like laughing my heart out as I stood by the front door watching him in action! Then, he stopped for a moment, smiled at me and went right back to searching their refrigerator for some good eats! Oh, how I began to laugh, so very loudly! I honestly thought by placing my hand over my mouth, I could control the laughter, but that didn't help, not at all! 

        Just as Michael was taking containers of food out of the refrigerator, he said, "Fried chicken! I love my Aunt's fried chicken!" Oh, how I laughed even more so! With several containers of food in his hands, Michael looked at me and smiled, once again. I laughed so hard! I just couldn’t stop laughing! I covered my mouth with both hands! I even made two attempts to tell them how sorry I was for being so loud, but I could only get bits and pieces of my apology out of my mouth. Then Jen looked at me and shook her head, as she said, “Jeannie, you don’t owe us an apology, we all understand how you feel; shoot, that’s just Pig being Pig! He loves food! I tried to warn you before we walked through the front door!" 

        As Jen said that, I attempted to control my laughter by taking deep breaths in and out, however, the comments that Michael’s cousins were beginning to make just cracked me up! Ren looked at him, shook her head and said, “Oh, no Pig! No!” Michael’s cousin Big Fred laughed at him, as he said, “Aw no man, not again! Just save me enough to make a sandwich for my lunch!” Then, Jen shook her head as she walked over to where he was and said, “Pig! Pig? I'll warm it all up for you! As Jen hold out her hands for the containers, Michael opened up one of them and got a piece of chicken out. While Jen was preparing to warm up the food, she said, "Oh, my GOD, I can’t believe that you're still hungry Pig, after that big breakfast you had?!” 

        You know what, after each comment that was made by his cousins, I laughed louder and harder! I laughed so loud and so hard that I actually cried! Absolutely! As I sat down on their sofa, my laughter turned into tears. Being there with them made me feel like they were my family; yes, the family that I never had an opportunity to experience that type of joy and laughter with. Likewise, I remember those days of sitting on the playground bench watching Michael play basketball with Ren and some of their friends. The basketball court was located in the back of our apartment building. Michael was pretty good on the court; however, there was this one guy that they called Toby, who was absolutely incredible with a basketball! I use to love it when Toby played ball with them because he always sat everybody down, including Michael, lol! You know, that brought about a great deal of joy to my heart because the sooner Michael had to sit down, the more time we had to hang out together on those Saturday! 

        Yes, I enjoyed every moment that we spent together because I knew that eventually, he‘d have to leave soon. After they’d finish playing ball because Toby sat everybody down, we’d all go back upstairs to Michael’s cousin’s place and look at television for a while. Whenever it was time for me to go in because of my curfew, Michael would ride with me on the elevator, up to the 9^th floor; sometimes, Jen or Ren would come along with him. I always hated that our time together on Saturdays had to come to an end; even though we got a chance to spend some quality time together, nevertheless, I knew that eventually, he had to leave to go home. I began to hate when Sundays came; oh, it wasn’t because I had to go to Church, I loved going to Church, learning about FATHER GOD and Christ Jesus! I also enjoyed singing in the Choir! It was because I knew if Michael didn’t leave late that Saturday night, he would more than likely go home early that Sunday morning. My heart always began to hurt so very badly, whenever I knew that it was time for him to go.         

        Oh, there were times when Michael wasn't able to visit, and I missed him on those weekends when he wasn't able to do so. Naturally, Michael and I started out, as friends and as time went by, we grew into each other. We became more than just two hangout kids. Wholeheartedly, I fell in love with him; I knew that feeling was meant to be because it felt just right in my very heart and soul! Thanks to FATHER GOD, Michael became my very best friend for life! Thank you, FATHER! Thank You!        

Chapter 4 Meeting Michael

Meeting Michael

Our Beginning

        Unfortunately, a lot of people on Planet Earth don’t know that Michael had an off-stage life that consisted of him visiting his Chicago cousins who lived in Rockwell Gardens. Michael's relatives Jen and Ren were also my classmates, who happened to live in the same building housing that my family and I resided in. The housing complex was located on the Westside of the Chicago, Illinois and our Elementary school was located directly across the street from our residence. During the 1960’s and 1970’s, Michael visited our address quite frequently. One of his nicknames back in the day was Pig - a name that his Chicago relatives called him, whenever he visited. Later in the early 1970's, Michael began to go by another nickname Tookie; his use of that name is one of my reasons for this memoir. 

        I thank FATHER GOD for allowing my memory to come back for so many reasons and one of them is the day that I met Michael. It was as if our friendship was definitely meant to be. Yes, the day that I met him was and forever will be cherished. Who would have thought that our casual introduction in 1967 would mark the beginning of our love for each other?  Please allow me to explain; when I speak of our love, I’m referring to Michael and me and the Love that we shared, only between us. 

        How grateful I am to FATHER GOD for being my HEAVENLY FATHER! The year was 1967, I was in 2^nd grade when I first met Michael through his Chicago cousins. Jen and Ren were also my classmates; we attended Grant Elementary that was located across the street from where we lived. That particular year, Michael’s cousin Jen and I were in the same classroom; however, in 1966 his cousin Ren was my classmate. No, Jen and Ren are not twins! Jen's older than Ren; she started Kindergarten late. Nevertheless, I considered them both as very close friends of mine. It really saddens me to admit that due to my memory loss - head injury, I almost forgot about our days of hanging out together. The years that I spent with Michael were of great significance in my life. Great thanks to FATHER GOD because I most definitely remember it all now!      

        As I was leaving Grant school's playground one Friday afternoon between 3:20 – 3:30 pm, I noticed him standing in front of our apartment building. There were several kids around our age standing with him. I couldn’t help but to see Michael from a distance; his well-groomed Afro made him stood out from the crowd. Even then, when he was very young, Michael was an attention getter! For those of you, who are not familiar with what an Afro looks like, well it’s a hairstyle that most Negros sported in the 1960’s and 1970’s’. Yes, I said Negros! Oh, I can remember when people of color were called Colored People, Negroes, Blacks, Afro Americans and African Americans. Wow, I must say, what a list of name changes! If you need to know what an Afro looks like, you can always visit the Internet and type the word Afro in the search engine; then click the box for the results. You can also click on Images to view different types of Afros. 

        The closer I got to our building complex, the more I became amazed at how pleasant he was to look at. Just as I entered where they were standing, I realized that Ren was with him, they were talking. Then, she spoke to me as I walked into the building; I smiled and said, "Hi Ren!" Being somewhat reserved, I continued walking toward the elevator. As I punched the button for the elevator to come, Ren exclaimed, “Hey, Jeannie, wait a minute, I want to introduce you to my cousin!” You know what? Although I was quite shy, I stopped walking and turned in their direction; then she motioned for me to come over to where they were standing. As I began to walk toward them, I noticed that he was smiling, as he observed me. I glanced at him and smiled back; I liked the way that he looked. In other words, Michael was a good looking guy!    

        Ren looked at him and said, “I’m sorry Cous.” Then she said, “Jeannie, this is my cousin Pig.” I smiled at him and said, “Hello.” Michael looked at her and said, “Pig?! Pig?!” Ren began to laugh! Then she said, “Ok Cous! Ok!” After taking a deep breath, Ren said,” Jeannie, this is my cousin Michael and Michael this is my friend Jeannie.” Michael smiled at her said, “Now, that’s more like it, Renny!” Oh, how I wanted to laugh about their conversation! They were too much for me! My main reason for almost laughing was because of his nickname, but I didn’t. Instead, I shared with them both, a half of a smile; then Michael smiled and said, “Hello Jeannie, I’m Michael.” I shyly repeated, "Hello," then I began to walk toward the elevator again. Yes, that’s how I was back in the day, timid and reserved. 

        While walking toward the elevator, I couldn’t help but to think to myself, why was his nicknamed Pig? Nevertheless, as I thought about that, I noticed that he was walking right next to me. Glancing over to my left, surprisingly our eyes locked; we began to gaze into each other's eyes. Michael's eye color appeared to be a beautiful hazel brown. Naturally, his Afro got my attention, but his hazel brown eyes captured my heart from the very beginning; I remained intrigued for many years to come! My reason for describing Michael's eyes as a lighter shade of brown is the result of how the sun shined upon his face. You know, as our friendship grew I noticed, whenever Michael looked at me while the sun was shining, his eyes appeared to be a beautiful shade of brown. Throughout our years together, I also observed how Michael’s eye color looked lighter in the winter months, especially whenever the sun was shining upon him.

        Well, as I looked into his beautiful brown eyes, he said, “Jeannie, that’s only my nickname, and that's when I began to giggle! I couldn’t help myself! I had to laugh! Though, deep down inside I wasn’t really laughing at Michael's nickname; I was actually giggling because of the look that he gave Ren! Michael stared at her for a few moments, then shook his head and once again said, “Pig!?” Then, he looked at me and smiled; my laughter must have amazed him because in a pleasant tone of voice he said to me, “Um, Jeannie, do you mind if I stand here with you until the elevator comes?” You know what, I was somewhat thrown off a bit when he said that; at my very young age, a guy had never walked me to the elevator before, nor had one ever asked to stand there with me until it actually came. You know, I smiled at the thought him standing there with me as I waited for the elevator to come, then I said,“I don’t mind Michael.”  

        Our building had thirteen floors and two elevators; the one located on the West side of the building stopped on the ground floor, and all even numbered floors 2 to 12. While the elevator located on the East side stopped on the basement level, ground level, all odd numbered floors 1 to 13, and the rooftop. As I punched for the elevator, Ren shouted out, "Where are you going Cous?!" Michael responded that he wasn’t going anywhere. Well, I guess Michael must have enjoyed our short conversation, while we were waiting for the elevator to come because as the door opened, he decided to ride up to the 9^th floor with me. 

        When the elevator door opened for us to get on, I heard Ren yelled out, “Hey Pig!! Um, I mean Michael, hold that elevator! I’m getting on it too!” I smiled, as I got on the elevator. However, the look on Michael’s face, as he got on was one of disbelief. Michael just shook his head because Ren kept referring to him as Pig. Once we got on the elevator, Michael pressed the button that allowed the elevator door to remain open for Ren to get on. I could hear her breathing loudly, as she ran to get on the elevator so that she could ride up with us. 

        You know, I’ve always considered Ren to be an outspoken person, even when we were very young. After getting on the elevator, she said, “I’m glad that you decided to hold the elevator for me, Pig!” Michael shook his head as he stared at her for a few seconds; then he smiled at me. I could imagine how Michael felt; it seemed as if Ren was persistent when it came to calling him by his nickname. Michael's reaction was as if she had just broadcasted his aka to the entire world! As the elevator door closed, Ren pushed the button for the 3rd floor, and I pressed the button for the 9th floor. 

        We all remained silent for about 10 seconds; then she looked at Michael and said, “I’m sorry Cous’! It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose; I’ll try not to do it again, okay Cous’?”  Michael shared with her a solemn look; then he asked me, did I like listening to music? Before I could answer him, the elevator stopped and then opened on the 3rd floor; Ren held the button for Michael to get off the elevator with her. However, Michael looked at her and said that he was going to ride up to the 9th floor with me. Ren didn’t appear to be too pleased with that answer. Then Michael told her that he wanted to see how the ground looked from the 9th floor down. 

        Well, the suspicious look that Ren shared with Michael indicated to me, that she didn’t want him to ride up to the 9^th floor with me. Then Michael shared with her a solemn look, as he told her in a firm tone of voice, "Renny, I'm a big boy now; I know how to come back down on the elevator to the 3rd floor, all by myself!" I think that made Ren sad because her tone of voice changed quite a bit, as she got off the elevator. She said, “Michael, you know that I can ride up there with you and we can ride back down to the 3^rd floor together.” Michael didn't say a word; he just stared at her for a few seconds. Then, in somewhat of a frustrated tone of voice Ren said, "Well…just don’t forget that we live on the third floor in apartment 301!" Michael smiled at her, and then said, “Ren, I’m a big boy; I won’t get lost, I promise!” As Ren got off the elevator, Michael continued to smile; he waved at her, as the elevator door closed.

        I kind of felt sorry for Ren as she got off the elevator, however, as the elevator door closed, we heard her say “If you’re not back in 30 minutes, I’m going to come up there to get you, Michael!” Michael and I looked at each other and began to laugh a bit, as we heard her say that. Then he shook his head and said, “I promised her that we would play a game of one-on-one in basketball today and we will!” Michael had me cracking up from the 3rd floor to the 9^th floor.  He asked me, did I want to know why his cousins called him Pig? I smiled at him, but I didn’t reply; then, Michael stated that the reason why they called him ‘Pig’ was because whenever he came to visit them, he’d raided their refrigerator!

        Oh, my goodness gracious! I tried my very best not to laugh, but I just couldn’t help myself! At that very moment in time, I could only imagine him standing there, in their refrigerator door stuffing his face full of food! You know what? I just bust out laughing at the thought of seeing him do that! He began to laugh as well; it was probably because of my unstoppable laughter! Then, Michael leaned over toward me, as he stated that I should visit his cousins, whenever he was in town because that was the only way I’d get a chance to catch him in action! Yes, Michael had me laughing so hard on our way to the 9^th floor! He started naming off all the different types of food that he had eaten out of his cousins’ refrigerator and how good they were!

        You know what? I fell for Michael right then and there! Yes, it was mainly because he made me feel so very comfortable as if we had known each other all of our young lives. Then he extended his left arm and placed his hand on the elevator wall, directly above where I was standing. Then all of a sudden, with a warm, delightful smile on his face, Michael said, “You really don’t know who I am, do you?” After Michael said that, I couldn’t help but take a real good look at him and smile as well. Even though I really enjoyed his company, I honestly didn’t know who he was, other than Jen and Ren’s cousin; the cousin that Ren called Pig.

        After looking him over I said, “Well, I know that you are Jen and Ren’s cousin from out of town and Ren calls you, Pig.” Michael lowered his left hand from the elevator wall and began to casually pull at the neck of his t-shirt, as he said in a voice filled with so much excitement, “I’m Michael Jackson in the flesh!” You know what? I laughed so hard! Oh, I wasn’t laughing at who he indicated that he was; I was laughing at his actions! Michael’s gestures reminded me of someone, who thought that he was ‘The Stuff’! Yes! Mr. Big Stuff himself! Now, that was one of the most hilarious moments of my life! 

        Sorry to say at that point, I honestly had no idea that Michael was a lead singer in a group. I also didn’t know that they had a single out entitled I’m A Big Boy [Now]. Nevertheless, I could tell just by the sound of his speaking voice that he could sing. Indeed, he owned some gifted pipes! Learning who the Jackson Five / Family were wasn’t of great importance in my world, especially during that time period. All I knew was that I loved listening to Michael speak. I also cherished the fact that he could make me laugh! As we got off of the elevator on the 9^th floor, something extraordinary happened between us. I felt the beginning of our friendship as it began to grow and with time, it turned into Our Forever Love! 

        Yes, that occurred in 1967; I was only in second grade when I first met Michael. Such a beautiful Friday afternoon, one of the most comical days of my young life! As our friendship grew, there were times, when Michael would hum a few notes or sing a few lyrics of an unfamiliar tune to my ears, right before we’d get off into a deep conversation. I loved hearing his voice. I thank FATHER GOD wholeheartedly for allowing us to spend that time together because it was definitely a Blessing. I loved every second that we shared; regardless, if we were all up under each other or bickering. I believe wholeheartedly that FATHER GOD gave us to each other.  

Growing Up In A Religious Household

        You know, growing up in a religious family was cool with me; I grew up learning about FATHER GOD, HIS only begotten Son – Christ Jesus, the Holy Scriptures, the Holy Spirit and the Trinity. Yes, I grew up in a Christian household, and that was all right by me! Being a part of the Church was always the primary focus in our family. Thanks to my Great Uncle - Minister Bayley, I officially became a member of the Bayley family. Yes, my Great Uncle Bayley spoke up for me to live there with him, his wife, and six kids. With me included, seven children were living with him and his wife in a three bedroom apartment! Growing up, I considered myself to be a pretty good child; I always did my best to follow the rules and regulations of the Bayley household. 

           Oh, there were times, when Mother Bayley would say that there were too many kids living in that apartment; you know what, I silently agreed with her on that statement several times. Unfortunately, I didn't feel as if my presence there was of any great worth to her; in fact, no one other than my Great Uncle actually paid any particular attention to me. You know, as time went by, I began to understand why with seven kids living in that apartment. Although, there was one time during the Headcount that I was almost missing in action and not one family member seemed to be alarmed, not one! Of course, that made me feel so very weird, mainly because I was the youngest of the girls in the Bayley household.  

        Of the three girls and four boys of the Bayley family, Rhonda and I were pretty close; even though, she was older than I was by a few years. Hey, did you know that in a household of seven kids, there are times when someone is more likely to get bullied than others? Well, it all came to an end whenever my Great Uncle stepped foot inside the door. He did not believe in acts of violence, such as arguing or fighting; no, not at all! Nevertheless, what my Great Uncle didn’t know was that, while he was at work or at church meetings, his household was sometimes in an uproar! That was one of the reasons why I was so glad that Michael and I became good friends! Being with Michael gave me a sense of peace and security; I thank FATHER GOD for allowing us to be together, especially during that time period! Thank you, FATHER! Thank you!

Chapter 3 Internet Photos - Michael / Tookie

Photos Retrieved From The Internet: Michael (As A Kid) Tookie (As An Adult Incarcerated)

Michael: Works - Ben 

Michael - Works: Got To Be There 

Michael - Works: Got To Be There 

Tookie - Incarcerated 

Chapter 3 Internet Photos -Michael -J5

Photos Retrieved From The Internet:

Michael - Holding Up Five Fingers 

Michael - Holding The Microphone

Michael - Front / Center 

Michael - Left / Smiling

Michael - Standing 

Chapter 3 FATHER GOD - My Aviator

FATHER GOD - My Aviator 

        Oh, I don’t consider myself a skeptic or an optimistic person and that is the main reason why I take all my concerns to FATHER GOD. Therefore, when it came to photos of my husband – Michael (as a kid) and Stanley Tookie Williams (incarcerated) that I retrieved from the Internet, I cried! Why? Well, it's because Michael has no business - none whatsoever resembling Stanley Tookie Williams. However, it’s not a consequence at all! The AKA Tookie is definitely significant! You know what, Michael and I were together the majority of our childhood; I was with him when he came up with the nickname / AKA Tookie. 

        During my investigation, I discovered that Michael’s and Tookie’s eyes, chin, nose, lips, etc., are the same! I continued to weep while viewing their photos because FATHER GOD reminded me of the reason why my Husband – Michael originally came up with the AKA Tookie [our twin daughters - the key; yes, we're bonded by blood – blood is our bond]. Well, it’s a very long story that I'm willing to share I will share more in detail within this manuscript. 

        During my exploration, it was also revealed that Tookie's birthdate reported on-line as December 29, 1953, while Michael's birthday is stated as August 29, 1958; that's a 5-year difference. You know what, I felt a small sense of relief for - oh, every bit of 2 seconds. I honestly wanted to believe that I could have been mistaken about Michael and Tookie being the same person. Unfortunately, they are one person in the same. You know, it took a great deal of time before I could come to grips with this evidence.

Michael's Nose

        Through the years there have been many ‘Lies’ told about my husband's physical appearance, especially when it came to his facial features; for example his nose. Oh, how he tripped while rehearsing and broke his nose. You know what? That tall tale was to cover up for the so-call many nose jobs that he allegedly had throughout his career. I actually watched an interview on my Father-In-Law Joseph Jackson in which he stated such. Yes, I watched Papa Joe as he told that vicious bold face lie! Who wouldn't believe him? After all, he's Michael's Father; why would he share such a fabrication about his son with the world? Well, unfortunately, he did; yes, Papa Joe was the one who started the spreading of that malicious lie! 

        Please participate in a quick but proven experiment with me to confirm my fact, if you will. Whenever you get a chance, please find an old photo of when you were a kid and compare it to an up-to-date picture of yourself or just look in the mirror. Can you point out any facial characteristics that differ from then and now? This is a short proven test that holds true for everyone on ‘Planet Earth’ including my husband – Michael. I completed this assessment of myself and found the following: as a kid my nose was short and somewhat narrow; however, as an adult, my nose appears to be much longer and a bit slimmer. Although it's the same nose, it matured just as I did; in other words, it grew up too! Lol! 

        Nevertheless, I Thank FATHER GOD every day of my life for restoring my memory! Yes, I remember why Michael selected that name because I was with him when he did so. I was also right there with him when he decided to join the Gangster Disciples – Chicago Illinois.  Are you still with me? I honestly hope that you're not startled by it all. If you're still there, please come take a walk with me back down memory lane; the year was 1967.

Chapter 2 FATHER GOD Is And Forever Will Be!

FATHER GOD Is And Forever Will Be!

         Did you know that FATHER GOD is forever in control, even when we feel, as if, we are totally out of control! Right after being discharged from the hospital, I began to experience so many horrible headaches that were associated with flashbacks of being with my husband Michael Joseph Jackson of the Jackson Five. Although, it's somewhat of an ancient story dating back to over 40+ years, during that time period  Michael used an AKA; he was also known as Tookie. My inquiries to family members and close friends in regards to the flashbacks did not assist in the healing process. I honestly needed a support system because my memory was somewhat delayed and for the most part very much so screwed up. I also lacked focus; in my personal life, it was baffling for me to determine fact from fiction. Nevertheless, FATHER GOD granted me the ability to remember key events and specific detail of my life especially when I was with Michael. 

        Being a 16 years old young lady, I should have been at home possibly doing some homework or involved in normal things that 16-year-old girls were usually off into. However, as I write this para, I think to myself, "Hey Jeannie, just accept it, life has never been ordinary for you." I was a 16-year-old bride, who was traveling on the highway to Vegas with my 18-year-old husband - Michael Joseph Jackson AKA Tookie - behind the wheel. Though our life together may be considered old news, our relationship is the reason why I write this memoir today.  Some of the most intimate details of our young life together are described within the pages of this book.  Yes, FATHER GOD showed me that HE was forever in control by giving me enough of my memory back to share with you on paper, what really happened to Michael! I am very grateful to HIM for providing me with assistance from HIS Heavenly and Earthly Angels. Their help allowed me to remember, not only the events that took place while I was with Michael but also specific events that date back to when I was a mere tot.

        Reflecting back on particular events that took place in my life, I feel kind of odd; despite the fact that it's quite difficult to explain. Nevertheless, it's like I'm standing right there but at a distance, watching myself go through each event, all over again! You know what, somehow and some way, once the reflection is completed I experience a sense of peace. Can you imagine that? Yes, it's so strange to be able to actually view yourself going through each ancient occurrence. For example – my time spent in the hospital: Even though I can't recall the name of the hospital, the reason or length of my stay, FATHER GOD allowed me to revisit that event.  I actually saw myself interacting and communicating with the Doctor and the Nurse. Isn't that weird? Yes, so very eerie, indeed! 

        I believe wholeheartedly that HE gave me the ability to evaluate my reflections today based on how I felt then. Unfortunately, my feelings at that time were out of touch due to having a head injury. In fact, I was so thrilled when it was time to leave the hospital! Going home in a cab didn't alarm me one bit, just as long as I made it there. While evaluating this account of my hospital stay, today, it kind of makes me wonder: a) what happened with the follow-up visits? Were the no-shows due to a lack of caring, health insurance or basically no finances? That really saddens me because I was actually looking forward to reciting those 3 words to my Doctor once again; yes, in the order that he gave them to me. Oh well, guess, I'll just remember those words in that order, for the rest of my entire life. Hey, come to think of it, who picked up the tab for my hospital stay? Being clueless at 16 years of age was probably what was expected of me at that time. 

        Still, in all, I am very grateful to FATHER GOD for allowing me to share with you on paper, my life as it relates to my husband –Michael. Though I honestly feel as if this assignment from HIM is an enormous one for someone like me to take on, I am still forever grateful to HIM for summoning me to do so. Did you know that FATHER GOD healed my agonizing head, broken heart, injured body, and dormant soul? Yes, HE became my Doctor in the midst of all that madness! Thanks to FATHER GOD my life is in an ongoing healing process until I depart from Planet Earth. Thank you FATHER GOD in JESUS name, thank you!  

        After the car accident and my memory loss, slowly but with conviction, I began to understand why all the ‘Gar' ra' bage' existed in association with my husband. You know what? I always thought that our marriage was supposed to have been a ‘Sacred Secret' and that only the people who were very dear and near to us knew about it. Well, I have been proven wrong, dead wrong! Thanks to FATHER GOD, I now understand the reasoning behind the ‘Capital Deceit' in association with my husband and the use of his name! Oh, how I thank HIM and HIS Spiritual and Earthly Angels for seeing me through, especially during the darkest and most difficult time in my very young life!

The Internet

        You know what, even when I'm not aware of what's truly taking place in my life, FATHER GOD always gives me what HE knows that I really need to keep going! Oh, how I thank HIM for the Internet! HE gave HIS Earthly Angels what they needed to invent the Net. If it did not exist or if I had no access to it, I wouldn't have been able to validate my memory when it comes to what actually happened to my husband, Michael.  FATHER GOD also gave HIS Earthly Angels the ability to periodically improve the performance of the Internet. They create, enhance websites, and software time and time again! Yes, I am very grateful to HIM for giving them the ability to doing so! 

       Did you know that back in the day, some of our parents believed that a few of their home remedies were better than some of the ones that their parents once relied upon? Well, I must agree with them for the most part, now that I am a parent. When it comes to locating information, I no longer need to go to the Library to read a newspaper or magazine in hard copy;  I use the Internet! I received my very first Computer and Net service in the year of 2000. Thanks to my son, I learned how to use the Web to visit expert websites; those visits allowed me to reference head injuries in association with car accidents and facial scars, particularly similar to mine! I was also able to visit those sites discussion pages that helped me to understand my injuries more in-depth! I am very grateful that I was able to comprehend the procedures that the Medical Field used in the 1970's for head injuries and facial scars.        

        If you would like to learn more about medical procedures and circumstances, as they relate to your interest, you can always visit www.webmd.com or www.medicinenet.com for current information. My inquiry was based upon a head injury and facial scars that occurred from being in a car accident. The above websites are just two of the many professional sites available on the Internet that you can utilize to locate and review information centered on your relevant inquiries. FYI, you can also compare the findings and use the information to help understand more about your interest. 

        Nevertheless, please keep in mind that visiting such expert websites, do not replace visiting your Doctors; so, with that in mind, please remember to stay Safe, Healthy, and most of all Forever Blessed! Utilizing the Net as a research tool assisted in my ability to put all those fuzzy, missing pieces of my life together, due to my head injury and to deal with what actually happened to my husband. In fact, using the Internet also helped me to locate and to identify our twin daughters! Yes, we have 3 children together! Oh, I could continue on endlessly sharing things about us that only those who were in our small circle knew about. However, that's not the reason for writing this book. As you continue to read, it will be evident that what's presented before you is the truth. Please sit back, reflex, and enjoy the read.

       

Chapter 1 Amnesia – The Head Concussion

Amnesia – The Head Concussion

        In 1976, I was involved in a car accident and ended up with amnesia from a head concussion. During that time, I couldn't remember any of the events associated with being in a car crash, until many years later. Unfortunately, I never knew the extent of how painful it was for me to remember the details of my very young life. Oh, how strange it is for me to remember key information about that car wreck some ten years later. Oh, how peculiar it was for me to remember it all, so clearly today as if it had happened only yesterday. With that said, I still feel forever Blessed to have awakened in a hospital room, even though I had no knowledge of why I was there.
       
        As I opened my eyes, right after the accident, my head began to hurt like crazy! I had awakened in a private hospital room. I contributed my terrible headache to the sight of the horrible abstract painting that was on the wall in front of my bed. Well, unfortunately for me, I couldn’t help but look at it. The work of art consisted of an abundance of colorful, clustered, circular and yet scribbly lines. While the painting was considered to be a work of art, I classified it as an endangerment to my brain! Every time that I looked at it, my head would hurt like crazy! Yes, it was a horrible headache for sure, one that felt like it was totally from out of this world!  I felt as if someone from a wrecking ball crew with a bulldozer was using my head as their focal target!  

        In addition to the horrific head pain, my entire body began to ache. As the pain set in, a Caucasian Nurse walked into my room with a smile. Although the Nurse sounded cheerful and enthusiastic as she said, "Good afternoon Jeannie, I'm so glad that you decided to wake up just in time for lunch!" I honestly didn't understand her comment. Maybe, it was because I had no knowledge of how long, I had been asleep. Nevertheless, I could still sense the sincerity in her voice as she said that. 

        On the other hand, to tell you the GOD given truth, I didn't feel all that blissful about waking up. As she continued to talk to me, I stared at the IV that was in my right arm.  My reason for glaring at the IV was because I felt as if it was sucking the blood out of my entire body! Oh, if I could have, believe me, I would have snatched it out of my arm with great speed! However, it wasn't that simple. 

        In a whining tone of desperation, I asked the Nurse could she please get rid of that painting because just looking at it gave me, the most terrible headache! Oh, I felt as if I was dying because my head wouldn't stop hurting! Yes, it hurt so very badly!  As the Nurse checked my vitals, she said that it was normal for me to wake up with a headache and that because I had been asleep for such a long time. Of course, I heard what she said, but I was in so much pain; oh, how my head ached! I felt as if, I was going to die! Then, I asked her, if I could have some aspirin because my head was killing me!

       The Nurse stated that before I could be given any medication for pain, I needed to see my Doctor first; then, she said that he would be in shortly. As the Nurse changed my IV bag, she asked me was I hungry, yet? Honestly speaking, I was in pain! I felt so stiff and achy all over! I was also very irritable; I had no desire for food at that time! In fact, that horrible headache and irritating IV made me want to jump up out of that hospital bed, get myself together, and go home! Although I've always been a shy and quiet young lady, with all that was going on, I found myself speaking somewhat boldly to the Nurse, as I stated that I wanted to go home! 

        You know what? Her smile dropped after I said that. Oh, I didn't mean to sound so demanding, but I wanted to go home where I felt peace and security. Then, the Nurse stated that my food should be arriving shortly, and I needed to try to eat, especially if I wanted to go home soon. You know, in actuality I was scared; I felt very uncomfortable being there. Yes, my focus was on Rockwell Gardens - 2517 W. Adams Apt. 910 - Chicago, Illinois 60612, whenever I felt uncomfortable in a situation. 

        Once my meal arrived, the Nurse stayed with me for a while. She opened my juice cup and watched me take my first few sips. As I began to eat the meal, I noticed that she was writing in my file.  After completing her notes, she smiled and said that the Doctor would be in shortly, then left. While finishing up my carrots, I noticed a Caucasian Doctor as he walked into the room. After introducing himself, he began to examine my arms, legs, neck, head, and back. As he did so, he asked me "How was I feeling?" Well, I couldn't lie; I stated that my head was still killing me and my body felt like crap! 

        The Doctor smiled, as he used a tiny flashlight to inspect my eyes, ears, and throat. Then he stated that I needed to complete a few minor tests before he could release me. I smiled! Yes, for the first time since I had awakened, I felt somewhat better. While taking a real good look at me, he said, " Remember Jeannie, I'll sign off on your discharge papers so that you can go home tomorrow, but you have to pass the test first, okay?" His comments delighted me! Yes, more than anything else in the world at that time, I wanted to go home! I continued to beam as I said, "Okay."        

        Before the Doctor left my room, he said, "Jeannie, there are three words that you need to remember for your next visit with me, and they are 'tree, ball, and car.' He also stated that I needed to remember the words in the order that each one was given to me. Well, even though I felt somewhat strange when it came to his request, I agreed to do so. I didn't think the task was too difficult for me to complete. You know what? Even though my head began to hurt a little during the memory process, I remembered and recite those three words back to him in the order that they were given to me. Then, he stated that I did very well. I smiled because that meant that I was making progress. I was so happy that I was going home soon! 

        As the Doctor left my room, he said, "Jeannie, don't forget, you have to remember to say each word in that order, the next time that I see you."  I smiled as I agreed to do so. Later, that day I moved to another room for the minor tests; thanks to FATHER GOD, no paintings were hanging in the new room to make my head hurt like crazy! You know what, the very next day when I saw the Doctor, I recited the words as he had given them to me the day before. I was also asked to walk around the room and to pick up specific items that were in different areas on the floor.  

        Then he shined the tiny flashlight in my eyes and said, "I will visit you, one more time before you go home that day." Oh, it felt so good to hear him say that I was going home! All of a sudden, in a very excited tone of voice I said, "I 'm going home today! Hurray! My minor examination was a success!" At that time, the Doctor stated that from what he could tell, I was going to be alright but just to make sure, he was setting up a few follow-up appointments for me to attend. He also stated the importance of me keeping my follow-up appointments. He said, " Jeannie, you need to make sure that you keep the appointments. If  you miss one, you need to remember to call in and reschedule it, okay?" I could see the seriousness in the Doctor's eyes as he said so; of course, I agreed to follow through. 

       Shortly after he left, the Nurse came to visit me, one last time before I was discharged that day. She gave me some special instructions when it came to washing my face. Although I didn't understand why I needed to learn how to wash my face a particular way, I agreed to do so. I learned to incorporate those procedures into my daily routine, even to this day.  She stated that I needed to wash my face at least twice a day with a mild soap and warm water only. The Nurse also said that I needed to remember not to use any astringents or harsh chemicals on my face.  Even though I honestly didn't understand the reasoning behind the instructions, I agreed to do so. You know what? I actually thought that I always did a pretty good job when it came to washing my face. However, I must admit that I didn't understand why so much attention was placed, on my ability to cleanse my face or to remember certain words in a specific order. In fact, I had no knowledge of why I was hospitalized in the first place.  

The Effects On Me - As Time Passed By

      As time passed by I learned to appreciate the information that the Doctor and Nurse shared with me, while I was in the hospital. When I returned home, no one wanted to discuss the details of my hospital stay; I still didn't acquire any knowledge of what landed me there. While my family members and friends continued to tip-toe around my situation, I experienced great mental and physical pain in association with being in that car crash. It was tough, but I dealt with those excruciating headaches especially when it came to remembering things that occurred in my life, during that time of the accident.

        For example, I didn't comprehend until many years later why the cheeks of my buttock were so rough and why they hurt so very badly, the majority of the time! I learned that the skin on my buttock was actually removed and place on my facial cheeks because of the wreck. It was so painful for me to sit down for extended periods of time. As months passed by, I noticed that the IV marks located on the inside of my right arm were never going to fade away. Oh, I believe beyond a shadow doubt that FATHER GOD saw how naïve I really was when it came to my situation. You know what? Based on HIS timing, HE showed me - my life: before, during, and after the car accident. I am forever grateful to HIM for helping me to understand, the reason for my hospital stay and so much more.

        Although I'd never seen my facial scars during or after the car accident, through the years, they became graphic; it appeared that I must have received a face full of glass. Just from viewing my face today, I can tell that most of the impact was on the right side. The scars appeared to be the result of flying glass fragments and a partial indentation of the car's front windshield wiper/frame. My head must have been turned more so, toward the left because visibility of where the flying glass fragmentations landed is much lesser.        

        It also took many years for me to understand why I was experiencing so many problems with my teeth. Yes, my dental visits brought about great frustration; it was hard for me to comprehend the effects that the crash had on my teeth. Going from owning a beautiful set of choppers to discovering that most of them were broken on an angle near the root was heart-wrenching!  Right after the Dentist shared the x-ray results with me, he stated that it was a miracle that I wasn't experiencing any tooth pain; then he explained what I may experience in the future. You know what? I loved my teeth and being a person who brushed and flossed daily, I was definitely thrown.

        Every time that I visited the Dental Office, he'd share some information on techniques that could possibly save my teeth. Over the years, I spent a small fortune trying to protect my teeth from loss! Unfortunately, I must say as of today's date, I've lost the majority of them due to root breakage. While I still have some of my teeth, it is sad that I don't have all of them. Come to think of it, I could have lost all of my teeth during the car accident. Nevertheless, I believe wholeheartedly that FATHER GOD had other plans for me when it came to the car crash. I am grateful that HE allowed me to keep the majority of my teeth, as long as I actually did. Oh, I'm tremendously thankful to HIM for restoring my memory and using my physical scars, mental anguish, and tooth loss as reminders of my life before, during, and after the crash; yes, so that I can put it all on paper. How great thou art, FATHER GOD! How great thou art!

The Beginning Of The End Of Him: Synopsis

By Jeannie DeNiro            

Copyright 2017

Summary / Synopsis

 

The Beginning Of The End Of Him is a nonfiction manuscript based on my personal relationship with Michael Joseph Jackson of The Jackson Five from 1967 to 1972. We started out as friends; then we grew into each other inseparably. Although some of our early experiences as girlfriend and boyfriend landed us in a lot of trouble, e.g., becoming parents at such a very young age; we were still very determined to be together forever. With all the adults in our lives, in an uproar, we agreed to stick together no matter what and married before GOD in a religious setting without their consent. 

While our being together forever was the original plan, unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. Continuously at ends with his Father's abusiveness, Michael decided that he didn't want to sing anymore. After speaking with those that were close to us, he came up with a strategy that would allow him to walk away from it all. However, that idea also included his decision to prepare himself for the possibility of living on the streets. With that in mind, Michael decided to join up with some brothers [ or as most would refer to them as a street gang] here in Chicago [better known as the Gangster Disciples], and that is when he created/ incorporated his AKA – Tookie for identification and communication on the streets. 

                                                                              

It's a well-known fact that everyone's life has a beginning, middle, and end. My years with Michael were actually twelve. I couldn't possibly squeeze all the years and details of our life together in one book, e.g., our high school days, marriage license, car accident, and in 1979 when he never came back. Whereas this book only covers the first years of my life with him, we were actually together from 1967 to 1979. 

Oh, it is possible that I could write two additional books about my life with him. We had some very unforgettable times together as friends, as a couple, and as husband and wife; nevertheless, we also had some not so good ones due to all the capital garbage. The main reason for entitling this book – The Beginning Of The End Of Him is because he was Michael Joseph Jackson of The Jackson Five and he was definitely my world!!